Varun
"Saar... kass kudunga saar!!!" Just as my feet reached the pavement without losing the rest of my body (well, you know how the buses are in Chennai, and you very well know that you have to say your prayers of gratitude if u have managed to get off the bus in one piece) just as I turned around to take in the view of my majestic Marina, I heard that! Four huge hermaphrodites cornered my like a mouse, swaying their hips in tune with their outstretched arms and begging for alms (hey, I almost rhymed there), they, whom I sympathize with 'theoretically' for all their sufferings and tragedies, those outcastes upon whom the world cast its worst curse (pun, repetition and alliteration - I am on a poetic fire!) - but when it comes to facing them in the real world and meeting their horrific demands, I am a merciless coward. Doing justice to the aforementioned adjective of myself, I fled the scene in a flash.
Lata
Finally he gathered the courage to ask me out. We have hung out, probably a million times, but that was just in and around our very own school compound (Woah! I rhymed too). Embarassed by so many accusing eyes, tired of telling them, "Go fuck yourselves and just let us be!", we had to share love amidst chaos. But now finally, my boyfriend got his driving license and he is taking me on our first date to the majestic Marina beach. My hero, in his hero (pun burn!) drifts past cars and rickshaws and scooters and other bikes, and me, ignorant of all that, lean on his back and cherish the wind.
Varun
These days, any monkey with a DSLR is a photographer and I am a nasty monkey king (they don't have a poetic device for that but I matched the last syllable for those two words there. Kind of like, backward alliteration). Almost half the group was already wetting its feet and I marked my entry by almost drowning one of the petite girls of the group. And then the always enjoyable routine of beach time fun began - we splashed water at each other, sank our feet in the mud, captured a hundred photos, some of our own group and some of the festivities at the beautiful Marina, again tried to push the girls into the water and ran for our lives when they threw their tantrums and, obviously, looked around for pretty girls too. Soon Aswathi joined me in the exercise and we started rating them.
"That one's gorgeous", said Ash and I responded with, "She looks like a stick wearing a dress" and also added, "wonder why you girls are so obsessed with size zero? It's pathetic"
"I am not obsessed with size zero, it's just that you boys never look at a girl's face." I couldn't rebut that. Who can?
I asked the others to come over to Marina sandwich and when they declined, I decided to continue with Aswathi. And the hunt for "the prettiest of them all" ended with a mini-heart-attack. My eyes fell on Lata, holding hands with another boy.
Lata
Usually I give him lessons on romance, whenever we hang out. But for our first date he was like a prince. And he walked me to the beach like a princess, putting his right arm around my shoulder and holding me tight, gripping my left arm with his left, incessantly talking to me about this or that and whenever he stopped, he looked at me and smiled. It was a good thing he was holding me, otherwise I would have fallen unconscious in his eyes.
Amit was just a couple of inches taller than me and I wouldn't rate him as the most muscular among boys. When I first met him, he would barely talk and even when we started talking he was shy for words. He would blush whenever I walked across him and stutter whenever he talked to me - and I fell for all of that. We talked for hours and hours ever since and today as he grips me firmly, I feel proud! It is not as if I have changed him into someone I like him to be. But he has grown up to become someone I love him to be. We reached the beach and as I raised my face to look at him... Arghhh!!! everything was supposed to be romantically perfect! That was supposed to be our first kiss, but alas! my eyes fell on Varun - my ex-boyfriend, walking towards me.
Varun
We were madly in love. I still am in love! How could she run away from a relationship that lasted... Flourished! For three brilliant months, as if three awesome springs! How we met, how we talked, how we fell in love, all that is a cliche. But how we broke-up was legendary. College got over and we never saw each other, ever again. That was unbelievable on so many counts - no facebook message, no text message, no phone-call, not even a missed call, as if we lived in the 15th century. A little of it was my fault too, I let my ego get the better of me decided to wait for her call. And till now she hasn't.
Well, nothing to complain about, with a heavy heart and teary eyes, I accept that she has found another man, or another boy who is barely half my height and would suit Aswathi's idea of beauty - skin and bones! But the urge that has always attracted me towards her, persists to do so even today. No, I cannot ignore her, we have to end this properly. I need a goodbye from her. A decent break-up. And a reason, why she ran away.
Lata
"Hey, Lata! Been a really long time, huh? How are you?" He asked me wearing an idiotic smile. He was sweating and visibly nervous and I was expressionlessly shocked. A number of emotions gurgled within me and culminated into anger. Anger at the person who ignored me for so long, anger at the person who put ego above his love, anger at the person who refused to forgive and forget and ultimately, at the person who ruined my heavenly moments. And at that instant, I gave him the worst punishment I could come with, "Sorry, I don't think we have met before." I said with half a smile. Amit had turned around to look at my ex and he too was now smiling. Varun stood frozen for a second and withdrew without saying a word. "Strange, he knew your name too", said Amit. But he didn't press the matter any further, so sweet of him. I fell back into his arms.
Varun
She ditched me, she ignored me, she chose another guy; all that is forgivable, for we are all humans after all. But to look into my eyes, the man she loved, the man who loved her with every cell of his heart, and blurt such an atrocious lie.... with a straight face? And a stupid smile? Inhuman! Unforgivable! God, wish I could drown her in this water. For what? Only the sea would get polluted! Look at her snugging her all new BF. That son of a Blundaleomite. Ughh... now I can't sleep unless I pour hell on those love birds. And so shall I do, upon the couple I shall cast, the best revenge atlast - Idea!
My eyes darted towards the bus stop only to find what I was looking for. Ignoring Aswathy's "Hey, where are you going?" I blasted to the bus stop at the same speed with which I had run to the beach, approached the four hermaphrodites who had scared me off and offered them two notes of hundred rupees. "Make sure those two don't touch each other. As a matter of fact, make sure they don't even see each other The Whole Day!" My gundas happily took up the job and I gave the world a diabolic HAKUNA MATATA smile.
I rejoined my friends and continued rating women with Aswathi. And through one corner of my eyes I enjoyed the fun (The new boyfriend nearly pissed in his pants when he saw my missiles and ran for his life. Two of my gundas chased him and the other two cornered Chandrika incarnate - and to those who don't know who Chandrika is, she is a character in a romantic poem who is famous for ditching her boyfriend. When they got paid by the couple, they left the scene for a couple of minutes and again rebounded. The games continued till our group left the beach. And I dedicate this revenge story to every guy, well, why be so sexist, to every person who ever got ditched. Don't roll your eyes, I haven't been ditched... not just yet)
Love
