Certainly the best way to entertain anybody is a love story. And when your narrator is Jithin the Ultimate MCP, you are in for one awesome roller-coaster ride. Starting right from Class X and all the way through collage, it is a saga of conquests and mind blasting victories. Challenges were many but for someone of my calibre - Childsplay. Well, I can't take all the credit for myself, I mean, women are dumb. And easy to play around. And not to mention real fun, if you know what you are doing. Well then, now that you know what's in store for you - Read and Enjoy. By the way, MCP stands for Macho Charismatic Playboy!
As I told you before, it all started in class X, with this hot chick called... What was her name? Ummm... Absolutely no clue. Well, I most often referred to her as the Pizza Girl. The first time I saw her was in Pizza hut, and cupid was quick to strike. It was my first shot at trying to woo someone, so I do admit, I was nervous and didn't know what to do. After saying a prayer to all those fraud lover boys in the movies, who always end up getting the girl with their super genius master plan, I decided to make my move. The plan was simple - Make her Laugh.
I was the lion stalking my prey, waiting for the right chance to pounce at the petite animal, and go for the kill. There was just one shot, and I had to get it right. I saw her ordering and one by one her table was filling. I was patient. That lion had to be. At one point I thought the chance was lost, but before she finished her lunch she ordered drinks, and I realized, my chance had come - she didn't get her straw. Swiftly I moved, grabbed a straw from cash counter and tossed it into her glass. It missed. As if like a dance move, I grabbed another straw in no time and tossed it again, this time from a safer distance. The straw bounced of the glass and fell on the ground. And just as expected, she laughed at my goof-up. I had scored!
My next move was swift and well planned. I stalked her cautiously and got an idea of where she hangs out. She was a regular customer of a juice-shop in the neighbourhood, so I made myself one too. Everytime, she visited the juice shop, I was there. And very soon, I introduced myself, "Hey, I am Jithin. You know, you have really beautiful eyes!"
Jackpot!!! It worked like a charm. How her cheeks turned red still gives me goosebumps. "Thank you", she responded with a giggle. I had made my first conquest. The next day I asked for her mobile number and the deal was closed. It was the beginning of a fascinating love-life. Hours and hours on the phone during the nights and many more in the corridors of our school. Oh, I forgot to tell, Pizza girl happened to be studying in my next class. Talk about a bumper Jackpot.
That is the story of how a Casanova was born. Once I started dating Pizza girl, I earned the belief that for "The MCP" any girl was possible. I also realized that wooing a girl is not exactly nuclear physics, as matter of fact, it is a piece of cake. Atleast for me it is. By the end of class X, I had the phone number of almost every girl in my class and by the end of school, I had dated almost every girl in school.
And how much they adore me, nobody stops loving me no matter what I do to them. I mean, I even told Pizza girl, once, how dumb all the girls were and how easy it is to sweep them off their feet, and she just laughed it off. Girls are dumb! And they are fun!
Did you know that even this name - MCP, was actually something all the girls called me! Macho Charismatic Player. Girls are awesome yaar. And I am so much more awesome.
But school just happened to be the trailer. A 5 minute preview of the action packed 2 hour movie. 'Cuz college life was a bang - MCP reloaded. That was the time, when I was at the epitome of charm and charisma (I still suspect if my roommate had a crush on me!)
Although, I don't think much of her as a person (I don't think much of any girl to be honest), much of all the credit goes to my first real girlfriend, The Blanket Girl. Simple reason actually, I proposed to her while we went to buy some blanket for her. And what a fuss she made for one silly blanket, "This one is too soft, this one is too light, this one is not the right material". I still wonder whether I proposed 'cuz she looked amazing or just to get the hell out of the blanket shop. God! Girls can give you a headache with their shopping habits!
Within a few months time, I made out with her too. That was seriously a blast man! I mean, I did have to make a sacrifice of not hanging out with any other girl for a while, but if you ask me, totally worth it! Any day, the highlight of my college life I would say. And I really owe Blanket girl for that one!
And what else, you want to hear more. Let me just tell you this much. All of this happened in just one year of college. I had four years of it. Do the math. Well anyways, I have a little work to do, so tata bye bye for now. And yeah...
- The End -
And the problem with all the stories, is that men say it. Be it a book or a comic or a fairytale or a shortfilm or a full length movie. Men are the story tellers.
Couldn't agree more.
Good heavens sometimes it gets so annoying. You have seen it in the movies right. The hero makes his move, I dare say, if I were the heroine he wouldn't make it alive out of the movie. And all these stories only tell you only the guy's version. It's - well, what are you having?
Coffee for me.
Me too.
3 cups of coffee. Well, what I was saying is, it's not just these stories that you read and all. Even the stories that float around are so... guyish. Makes me puke.
It is most often that way. Is it not?
Hell no!
Hahahahaaa.....
Seriously Priya. You haven't seen anything! Absolutely anything. It was so damn awesome what happened in school. When was it, sometime in the beginning of class X, I guess. The first time I saw him was when he was getting busted by his Maths teacher, saw it while I was walking from my classroom to some lab class. It was like, his teacher called out his name and asked him to come and sit in the front seat, and this jerk just bounced up on hearing his name and shouted, "Miss God Promise I didn't do it. I swear Ma'am I didn't do anything! God Promise!" My God, that is one joke I will share even in my last breathe!
A serious loser that guy was. He used to try out these stupid tricks to all the girls and every single time his plans got so badly busted. The first time he tried to woo me was at Pizza hut. I was having lunch and for almost half an hour this jerk was staring at me. I seriously had a hard time not trying to laugh. And in the end he comes up to me and just tossed a straw into my class of soda. I didn't know whether he was trying to be cool or was he was trying to make me laugh or whatever, but he was seriously desperate and I couldn't help myself. I just started ROFLMFAO!
And then he used to follow me around, staring me as if, I mean, I always wonder whether he thought I was blind and didn't notice him staring at me. And all of a sudden, one day he came up to me and was like, "Yeah, your eyes and really beautiful, blah, blah, blah..." Yaar, I really felt sorry for him.
Hahahahaaa....
Then just for the fun of it I gave him my phone number too. A lot of girls used to go out with guys and all that so even I wanted to know. What this dating and being in a relationship and all that is about. So, just gave it a try. And, let me be honest here, at first it was kind of OK. But then this guy started just, stalking me all the time, and going on and going on. Even that was alright. But then he started hanging out with other girls, flirting with everyone and it just got on my nerves at one point. But all that was actually tolerable, except one bloody non-sense that he said. Seriously crossed the line, that one! According to him, "All girls are so Dumb. It is so easy to sweep any girl off her feet", it seems. If I had a gun, he would be dead before he finished his sentence. At that moment, I laughed it off, but vowed to myself, "One day you will wish you were not born!"
And the revenge story happen-
Then college started and I got my first boyfriend.
Alright then. Lets stick to chronology.
Thank you. Yeah, my first boyfriend. First year of college and I was this innocent girl from a village, now in the big city, and.... It all started with this blanket. You see, back in the village I had this really cozy blanket and, mostly for nostalgic purposes, I really needed a very good blanket. Searched in a lot of places but couldn't quite find the right one. So one day I decided to go shopping and this wannabe Casanova said he would give me company. So, at that time I didn't know who he was, was he a player, what is a player and all that. I was really new to the big city and I didn't want to offend anyone, so I said ok! He gave me company, and while we were at the store he just suddenly asked, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I was so darn shocked, had no clue what to say, I just chocked, "Yes" or "alright" I have no clue what my words were. It just hit me like a bomb.
Then after that I thought about it and was like, I have come to the city, so let me just see what the culture is, what happens around here and thought maybe I did make the right decision. But I promised myself that studies would always come first.
And that was not exactly possible with my "boyfriend" around. Phone call after phone call, sms over sms, he wouldn't let me read a book for 2 minutes. Such a headache. After every call I would decide, Ok let me end this. But then, Never quite gathered the nerve to break-up. Just let it go on and tried to adjust with it.
And then one day that bloody blundaleomite, rascal, son of a dash tried to kiss me.
Really? What happened?
Ugh... We were just in the library or something. I was minding my own business. He was, as usual, stalking me. And all of a sudden he just leaped onto me. I ran out of there like crazy. Blocked his number in my phone and cut him off completely. Jeez, I will never forget how I psyched out that day. Couldn't stop crying all night.
Yuck!
But things were just starting to get worse. He blabbed around the entire college that he made out with me.
What the?
I seriously considered suicide. But that's when -
I entered the picture. Once college started, I totally forgot about school, to be honest. But then, through a lot of friends I had in their college, I came to know what was going on, and how that loser who thinks girls are dumb, was at it again. I re-took my vow. Had to teach him a lesson!
So we both teamed up.
And tried every single trick in our sleeve. Alas, let me tell you, nothing worked. That was really tragic I have to tell you, I mean, We tried everything. We hacked into his mail id and messed up. We asked a guy in his hostel to put Vim in his food. That plan was a big time flop. You know there is this powder that makes you itch like crazy. His roommate had to suffer. And another bunch of stuff, but almost everything backfired.
Fish yaar. So sad!
Until...
My friend here dropped the bomb.
Huh? What did she do?
It all happened by mistake actually.
She told a bunch of guys that he was having sex with his roommate and that's why the roommate was itching so badly!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Hahaha.... I know. It was like. They were - hahahaaa - asking something about whether we had to do anything with the itching powder. And I was like, "No, it's because that kid is allergic to sex"
And the climax seriously couldn't get any better. Even now, if you ask him how college life was, he will tell you that he made out with a girl in the first year and ask you to guess what happened the remaining 3 years. Those were seriously hell years for him. Not a single girl spoke to him after that rumour broke out. Poor fellow.
So sad. I mean. Hahaha.... So awesome!
Really. I mean, totally deserved it! To this day, if I am not wrong, even know he thinks that MCP, as we used to call him in school, stands for Macha Charismatic Player! The bloody Male Chauvinistic Pig!
Hahahaaa.... Anyway girls, had a really great time. It is time for me to leave. My husband will come to pick me up anytime now. So see you later.
Ohhh... That's so sweet.
Yeah, I know, he is really nice. He cooks, cleans, drives me around, its really nice.
Nice! What's his name?
Jithin. Oh, wait let me get you a tissue. Huh, what just happened? Hey, did I miss something?
Love ;)
As I told you before, it all started in class X, with this hot chick called... What was her name? Ummm... Absolutely no clue. Well, I most often referred to her as the Pizza Girl. The first time I saw her was in Pizza hut, and cupid was quick to strike. It was my first shot at trying to woo someone, so I do admit, I was nervous and didn't know what to do. After saying a prayer to all those fraud lover boys in the movies, who always end up getting the girl with their super genius master plan, I decided to make my move. The plan was simple - Make her Laugh.
I was the lion stalking my prey, waiting for the right chance to pounce at the petite animal, and go for the kill. There was just one shot, and I had to get it right. I saw her ordering and one by one her table was filling. I was patient. That lion had to be. At one point I thought the chance was lost, but before she finished her lunch she ordered drinks, and I realized, my chance had come - she didn't get her straw. Swiftly I moved, grabbed a straw from cash counter and tossed it into her glass. It missed. As if like a dance move, I grabbed another straw in no time and tossed it again, this time from a safer distance. The straw bounced of the glass and fell on the ground. And just as expected, she laughed at my goof-up. I had scored!
My next move was swift and well planned. I stalked her cautiously and got an idea of where she hangs out. She was a regular customer of a juice-shop in the neighbourhood, so I made myself one too. Everytime, she visited the juice shop, I was there. And very soon, I introduced myself, "Hey, I am Jithin. You know, you have really beautiful eyes!"
Jackpot!!! It worked like a charm. How her cheeks turned red still gives me goosebumps. "Thank you", she responded with a giggle. I had made my first conquest. The next day I asked for her mobile number and the deal was closed. It was the beginning of a fascinating love-life. Hours and hours on the phone during the nights and many more in the corridors of our school. Oh, I forgot to tell, Pizza girl happened to be studying in my next class. Talk about a bumper Jackpot.
That is the story of how a Casanova was born. Once I started dating Pizza girl, I earned the belief that for "The MCP" any girl was possible. I also realized that wooing a girl is not exactly nuclear physics, as matter of fact, it is a piece of cake. Atleast for me it is. By the end of class X, I had the phone number of almost every girl in my class and by the end of school, I had dated almost every girl in school.
And how much they adore me, nobody stops loving me no matter what I do to them. I mean, I even told Pizza girl, once, how dumb all the girls were and how easy it is to sweep them off their feet, and she just laughed it off. Girls are dumb! And they are fun!
Did you know that even this name - MCP, was actually something all the girls called me! Macho Charismatic Player. Girls are awesome yaar. And I am so much more awesome.
But school just happened to be the trailer. A 5 minute preview of the action packed 2 hour movie. 'Cuz college life was a bang - MCP reloaded. That was the time, when I was at the epitome of charm and charisma (I still suspect if my roommate had a crush on me!)
Although, I don't think much of her as a person (I don't think much of any girl to be honest), much of all the credit goes to my first real girlfriend, The Blanket Girl. Simple reason actually, I proposed to her while we went to buy some blanket for her. And what a fuss she made for one silly blanket, "This one is too soft, this one is too light, this one is not the right material". I still wonder whether I proposed 'cuz she looked amazing or just to get the hell out of the blanket shop. God! Girls can give you a headache with their shopping habits!
Within a few months time, I made out with her too. That was seriously a blast man! I mean, I did have to make a sacrifice of not hanging out with any other girl for a while, but if you ask me, totally worth it! Any day, the highlight of my college life I would say. And I really owe Blanket girl for that one!
And what else, you want to hear more. Let me just tell you this much. All of this happened in just one year of college. I had four years of it. Do the math. Well anyways, I have a little work to do, so tata bye bye for now. And yeah...
- The End -
And the problem with all the stories, is that men say it. Be it a book or a comic or a fairytale or a shortfilm or a full length movie. Men are the story tellers.
Couldn't agree more.
Good heavens sometimes it gets so annoying. You have seen it in the movies right. The hero makes his move, I dare say, if I were the heroine he wouldn't make it alive out of the movie. And all these stories only tell you only the guy's version. It's - well, what are you having?
Coffee for me.
Me too.
3 cups of coffee. Well, what I was saying is, it's not just these stories that you read and all. Even the stories that float around are so... guyish. Makes me puke.
It is most often that way. Is it not?
Hell no!
Hahahahaaa.....
Seriously Priya. You haven't seen anything! Absolutely anything. It was so damn awesome what happened in school. When was it, sometime in the beginning of class X, I guess. The first time I saw him was when he was getting busted by his Maths teacher, saw it while I was walking from my classroom to some lab class. It was like, his teacher called out his name and asked him to come and sit in the front seat, and this jerk just bounced up on hearing his name and shouted, "Miss God Promise I didn't do it. I swear Ma'am I didn't do anything! God Promise!" My God, that is one joke I will share even in my last breathe!
A serious loser that guy was. He used to try out these stupid tricks to all the girls and every single time his plans got so badly busted. The first time he tried to woo me was at Pizza hut. I was having lunch and for almost half an hour this jerk was staring at me. I seriously had a hard time not trying to laugh. And in the end he comes up to me and just tossed a straw into my class of soda. I didn't know whether he was trying to be cool or was he was trying to make me laugh or whatever, but he was seriously desperate and I couldn't help myself. I just started ROFLMFAO!
And then he used to follow me around, staring me as if, I mean, I always wonder whether he thought I was blind and didn't notice him staring at me. And all of a sudden, one day he came up to me and was like, "Yeah, your eyes and really beautiful, blah, blah, blah..." Yaar, I really felt sorry for him.
Hahahahaaa....
Then just for the fun of it I gave him my phone number too. A lot of girls used to go out with guys and all that so even I wanted to know. What this dating and being in a relationship and all that is about. So, just gave it a try. And, let me be honest here, at first it was kind of OK. But then this guy started just, stalking me all the time, and going on and going on. Even that was alright. But then he started hanging out with other girls, flirting with everyone and it just got on my nerves at one point. But all that was actually tolerable, except one bloody non-sense that he said. Seriously crossed the line, that one! According to him, "All girls are so Dumb. It is so easy to sweep any girl off her feet", it seems. If I had a gun, he would be dead before he finished his sentence. At that moment, I laughed it off, but vowed to myself, "One day you will wish you were not born!"
And the revenge story happen-
Then college started and I got my first boyfriend.
Alright then. Lets stick to chronology.
Thank you. Yeah, my first boyfriend. First year of college and I was this innocent girl from a village, now in the big city, and.... It all started with this blanket. You see, back in the village I had this really cozy blanket and, mostly for nostalgic purposes, I really needed a very good blanket. Searched in a lot of places but couldn't quite find the right one. So one day I decided to go shopping and this wannabe Casanova said he would give me company. So, at that time I didn't know who he was, was he a player, what is a player and all that. I was really new to the big city and I didn't want to offend anyone, so I said ok! He gave me company, and while we were at the store he just suddenly asked, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I was so darn shocked, had no clue what to say, I just chocked, "Yes" or "alright" I have no clue what my words were. It just hit me like a bomb.
Then after that I thought about it and was like, I have come to the city, so let me just see what the culture is, what happens around here and thought maybe I did make the right decision. But I promised myself that studies would always come first.
And that was not exactly possible with my "boyfriend" around. Phone call after phone call, sms over sms, he wouldn't let me read a book for 2 minutes. Such a headache. After every call I would decide, Ok let me end this. But then, Never quite gathered the nerve to break-up. Just let it go on and tried to adjust with it.
And then one day that bloody blundaleomite, rascal, son of a dash tried to kiss me.
Really? What happened?
Ugh... We were just in the library or something. I was minding my own business. He was, as usual, stalking me. And all of a sudden he just leaped onto me. I ran out of there like crazy. Blocked his number in my phone and cut him off completely. Jeez, I will never forget how I psyched out that day. Couldn't stop crying all night.
Yuck!
But things were just starting to get worse. He blabbed around the entire college that he made out with me.
What the?
I seriously considered suicide. But that's when -
I entered the picture. Once college started, I totally forgot about school, to be honest. But then, through a lot of friends I had in their college, I came to know what was going on, and how that loser who thinks girls are dumb, was at it again. I re-took my vow. Had to teach him a lesson!
So we both teamed up.
And tried every single trick in our sleeve. Alas, let me tell you, nothing worked. That was really tragic I have to tell you, I mean, We tried everything. We hacked into his mail id and messed up. We asked a guy in his hostel to put Vim in his food. That plan was a big time flop. You know there is this powder that makes you itch like crazy. His roommate had to suffer. And another bunch of stuff, but almost everything backfired.
Fish yaar. So sad!
Until...
My friend here dropped the bomb.
Huh? What did she do?
It all happened by mistake actually.
She told a bunch of guys that he was having sex with his roommate and that's why the roommate was itching so badly!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Hahaha.... I know. It was like. They were - hahahaaa - asking something about whether we had to do anything with the itching powder. And I was like, "No, it's because that kid is allergic to sex"
And the climax seriously couldn't get any better. Even now, if you ask him how college life was, he will tell you that he made out with a girl in the first year and ask you to guess what happened the remaining 3 years. Those were seriously hell years for him. Not a single girl spoke to him after that rumour broke out. Poor fellow.
So sad. I mean. Hahaha.... So awesome!
Really. I mean, totally deserved it! To this day, if I am not wrong, even know he thinks that MCP, as we used to call him in school, stands for Macha Charismatic Player! The bloody Male Chauvinistic Pig!
Hahahaaa.... Anyway girls, had a really great time. It is time for me to leave. My husband will come to pick me up anytime now. So see you later.
Ohhh... That's so sweet.
Yeah, I know, he is really nice. He cooks, cleans, drives me around, its really nice.
Nice! What's his name?
Jithin. Oh, wait let me get you a tissue. Huh, what just happened? Hey, did I miss something?
Love ;)
Was fun to read ramon :) one day i hope i find out who pizza girl and blanket girl are ;) :P (remo's true isshhhhttoooryyy)
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note, the blog could've been a wee bit..just a wee bit simpler........
But who cares...gud 1 :D
Hilarious! Although, the perspective shift could've been slightly clearer. Funny, nevertheless. But the description of the husband in the last but one para reminds me of someone's current personal experience ;)
ReplyDelete