"Ï WILL KILL YOU!"
Was it the sweet and soft piece of Paneer that danced in my mouth, or was it the Sitar that sang to the air that could pull crowds from across the nation with its tantalizing aroma. Or was it the fact, that the most beautiful woman, I have ever seen, and will ever see in my life, was smiling.
Yes, it was her... her smile that made my day. And her eyes, that shined like the full moon in the mid-night sky of her skin. And her lips, as they kissed the glass for a sip of orange juice, what was sweeter? Her face was bony and looked divine when she wore that large bindi on the middle of her forehead. She was sitting in front of me wear a black shiny dhavani, long ears that dangled as she took each bit and danced as she laughed. And how she laughed, with the voice of a singer, it always paralysed me.
"Try this out", her voice was always so melodious. For once, the Sitar didn't sound nice. Nothing could sound nice when she talked. It was hard not to compare. She picked a piece of Paneer from her plate, squeezed the gravy out of it, and took a bite from it, exposing its white centre. "Paneer.... Just so delicious!"
I followed her lead. It was magical.
"Are you even conscious?" My angry roommates voice blared as I snapped out of the nostalgia of my Potterical evening. I hadn't stepped into my house, hadn't even removed my blazer, that I had specially purchased for that evening, or even removed my shoes, that I had specially polished for that night. The angry face was staring at me from inside, and I was staring back at him from outside, utterly confused!
"Sorry, I was just... well... Nothing could have distracted me!" I said with shrug, still dreamy about the evening that just went by.
"Not even this?" My friend slapped me on my head.
"Well, technically not even that. You see, you can only get distracted when atleast 1%, or atleast 0.01% of your attention is on your surroundings. But when 100% is on, something so beautiful, I wouldn't have noticed even if you hit me with a rock. You see, its like the Road Runner show. That coyote is so focused on its target that it will fall down, only after it looks down. Even gravity can't distract him."
"Three things: first of all, The Road Runner show was one of favourite cartoons and because of your tragically romantic philosophy, now I hate it. Second, 'something so beautiful!'. Are you talking about that jungle girl you just dated?"
"My jungle queen!" At first I used to get irritated when people called her that. But then, she herself laughed at that, and well, her laugh almost cures anything. And then soon it became her nickname - The Jungle Queen!
"Good heavens, how could even think she is beautiful. She looks like a crow! And that gigantic bindi and those humungous earrings, and good knows from where she gets those Sarees. And her face, does she have a black hole in her mouth or what? Why does it look that way?"
"She is that most beautful woman. Ever!"
"I actually want to kill you for saying that. But there is a worse reason to kill you", my friend said and pointed towards the bedroom at my third roommate, who was staring at three underwears which he lay across my bed. A closer inspection brought to my notice, they were all identical. And only one of them was mine.
Let me be honest with you guys, it was not one of my best evenings. It might have as well been one of my worst evenings, although back then I thought otherwise. Around one week back, due to the persistent insistence of my two roommates, I went to watch a porno film... in a theatre. Well, what's wrong in that? Having sex is just natural. And there is nothing wrong in seeing people do that. I think. And we went to the bar, first time for me, to have a drink. And after that my memory is a little hazy. Yeah, it really kicks in when you have alcohol for the first time.
"Hey, look underwear! How much for one?" One of us shouted. I guess it 3 underwears for 10 Rupees or something.
"Then I will have one!" "One for Me!" "And one for me too!" And thus we bought 3 underwears that night. One week later, we found out that we have been wearing identical underwears. And now we don't know which one belongs to whom?
"How did this happen?" The third roommate asked me. It seems those two had some conspiracy while I was away to put all the blame on me. But I had me defence ready; for the past one week.
"Hey, it was your idea to get me drunk!" End of discussion. The blame was out of my shoulders.
But that was just one job done. The more important task, to identify which one belongs to whom. That was a real dilemma. What to do? Smell it?
"How did it happen?" The question was asked to me again. But this time, by someone I wouldn't have preferred. "What exactly happened?"
"What do you mean?" My worst nightmare could not come true. The underwear story could not have reached my girlfriend! Please, please say anything but, "I am talking about the underwear story!"
"I am talking about the underwear story!" Fish!
"Hey, wait, but tell me this first. How did you come to know about this?"
"The entire office knows about this. Your drunk roommate put it on whatssap last night. And today morning we interrogated him at office and he sang like a parrot and I ALMOST PUKED!"
"Hey, I know it is not something you can be proud of, but... these things happen. You should be happy that this happened just once!"
"I am not talking about the underwear. You went to watch a Porno? And had drinks at a pub?" Alright, she was serious. And I was in trouble! Let me see what can be done.
"Hey, don't be like a child yaar. Sex is natural"
"I didn't think you were that kind of guy!" Things were going out of control. Something had to be done immediately, and a debate about the pros and cons of pornography or drinking will not save the day.
"Hey, its not like I drink everyday or watch. It was just..."
"Just once that I know of!" Bloody hell, its code red. Time for the ultimate weapon. God save me.
"I am really really sorry! I promise... Promise in your name this will never happen again!" Please work, please work, please work!
"You are not the guy I liked"
"Please, I am sorry. Really really sorry. I swear it won't happen again. God Promise!" Tears had filled up my eyes.
"Never talk to me!"
"Please...", I was sorry.
"Ever again!"
The girl who shone like the Kohinoor last night, walked away. Just a few feet away, but it felt like miles. She was right there, across the room, but there was a huge wall in between us, and I could not go through.
Did I do the wrong thing in watching porn that day? Was I wrong in drinking that night? Or was I wrong in apologising to her?
Did I love her? Am I actually crying for her? What is right and what is wrong?
"What is right, is that you shared your underwear with your roommate. And that made a hilarious story!" My Jungle Queen whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.
Hey all, its Ramon here. 25 blog posts and over 4000 pageviews, I am living the dream and thanks to all you guys, for inspiring me and motivating me, everyday. For asking me, "Hey, haven't you updated yet", and for saying, "Hey, I read it". And the best part of all, how much I learnt through this blog. Every post has been a lesson. Every story has taught me, somethings only stories can teach you. And I have loved it all. The night I stay up to tell a story, the evenings where I cook up my stories, the noons where I come across my tales, and the mornings where I decide, "Today I will say a story". It was heaven, it was a dream come true, it was an ambition realised! Thank you all for being with me. And I promise, Writer's World will be back with so much more! But for now, let me bid farewell. So much more to says, sorry's and thank you's. But let me wrap it up. Good Night!
Love
Ramon Dharma Rajan
Was it the sweet and soft piece of Paneer that danced in my mouth, or was it the Sitar that sang to the air that could pull crowds from across the nation with its tantalizing aroma. Or was it the fact, that the most beautiful woman, I have ever seen, and will ever see in my life, was smiling.
Yes, it was her... her smile that made my day. And her eyes, that shined like the full moon in the mid-night sky of her skin. And her lips, as they kissed the glass for a sip of orange juice, what was sweeter? Her face was bony and looked divine when she wore that large bindi on the middle of her forehead. She was sitting in front of me wear a black shiny dhavani, long ears that dangled as she took each bit and danced as she laughed. And how she laughed, with the voice of a singer, it always paralysed me.
"Try this out", her voice was always so melodious. For once, the Sitar didn't sound nice. Nothing could sound nice when she talked. It was hard not to compare. She picked a piece of Paneer from her plate, squeezed the gravy out of it, and took a bite from it, exposing its white centre. "Paneer.... Just so delicious!"
I followed her lead. It was magical.
"Are you even conscious?" My angry roommates voice blared as I snapped out of the nostalgia of my Potterical evening. I hadn't stepped into my house, hadn't even removed my blazer, that I had specially purchased for that evening, or even removed my shoes, that I had specially polished for that night. The angry face was staring at me from inside, and I was staring back at him from outside, utterly confused!
"Sorry, I was just... well... Nothing could have distracted me!" I said with shrug, still dreamy about the evening that just went by.
"Not even this?" My friend slapped me on my head.
"Well, technically not even that. You see, you can only get distracted when atleast 1%, or atleast 0.01% of your attention is on your surroundings. But when 100% is on, something so beautiful, I wouldn't have noticed even if you hit me with a rock. You see, its like the Road Runner show. That coyote is so focused on its target that it will fall down, only after it looks down. Even gravity can't distract him."
"Three things: first of all, The Road Runner show was one of favourite cartoons and because of your tragically romantic philosophy, now I hate it. Second, 'something so beautiful!'. Are you talking about that jungle girl you just dated?"
"My jungle queen!" At first I used to get irritated when people called her that. But then, she herself laughed at that, and well, her laugh almost cures anything. And then soon it became her nickname - The Jungle Queen!
"Good heavens, how could even think she is beautiful. She looks like a crow! And that gigantic bindi and those humungous earrings, and good knows from where she gets those Sarees. And her face, does she have a black hole in her mouth or what? Why does it look that way?"
"She is that most beautful woman. Ever!"
"I actually want to kill you for saying that. But there is a worse reason to kill you", my friend said and pointed towards the bedroom at my third roommate, who was staring at three underwears which he lay across my bed. A closer inspection brought to my notice, they were all identical. And only one of them was mine.
Let me be honest with you guys, it was not one of my best evenings. It might have as well been one of my worst evenings, although back then I thought otherwise. Around one week back, due to the persistent insistence of my two roommates, I went to watch a porno film... in a theatre. Well, what's wrong in that? Having sex is just natural. And there is nothing wrong in seeing people do that. I think. And we went to the bar, first time for me, to have a drink. And after that my memory is a little hazy. Yeah, it really kicks in when you have alcohol for the first time.
"Hey, look underwear! How much for one?" One of us shouted. I guess it 3 underwears for 10 Rupees or something.
"Then I will have one!" "One for Me!" "And one for me too!" And thus we bought 3 underwears that night. One week later, we found out that we have been wearing identical underwears. And now we don't know which one belongs to whom?
"How did this happen?" The third roommate asked me. It seems those two had some conspiracy while I was away to put all the blame on me. But I had me defence ready; for the past one week.
"Hey, it was your idea to get me drunk!" End of discussion. The blame was out of my shoulders.
But that was just one job done. The more important task, to identify which one belongs to whom. That was a real dilemma. What to do? Smell it?
"How did it happen?" The question was asked to me again. But this time, by someone I wouldn't have preferred. "What exactly happened?"
"What do you mean?" My worst nightmare could not come true. The underwear story could not have reached my girlfriend! Please, please say anything but, "I am talking about the underwear story!"
"I am talking about the underwear story!" Fish!
"Hey, wait, but tell me this first. How did you come to know about this?"
"The entire office knows about this. Your drunk roommate put it on whatssap last night. And today morning we interrogated him at office and he sang like a parrot and I ALMOST PUKED!"
"Hey, I know it is not something you can be proud of, but... these things happen. You should be happy that this happened just once!"
"I am not talking about the underwear. You went to watch a Porno? And had drinks at a pub?" Alright, she was serious. And I was in trouble! Let me see what can be done.
"Hey, don't be like a child yaar. Sex is natural"
"I didn't think you were that kind of guy!" Things were going out of control. Something had to be done immediately, and a debate about the pros and cons of pornography or drinking will not save the day.
"Hey, its not like I drink everyday or watch. It was just..."
"Just once that I know of!" Bloody hell, its code red. Time for the ultimate weapon. God save me.
"I am really really sorry! I promise... Promise in your name this will never happen again!" Please work, please work, please work!
"You are not the guy I liked"
"Please, I am sorry. Really really sorry. I swear it won't happen again. God Promise!" Tears had filled up my eyes.
"Never talk to me!"
"Please...", I was sorry.
"Ever again!"
The girl who shone like the Kohinoor last night, walked away. Just a few feet away, but it felt like miles. She was right there, across the room, but there was a huge wall in between us, and I could not go through.
Did I do the wrong thing in watching porn that day? Was I wrong in drinking that night? Or was I wrong in apologising to her?
Did I love her? Am I actually crying for her? What is right and what is wrong?
"What is right, is that you shared your underwear with your roommate. And that made a hilarious story!" My Jungle Queen whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.
Hey all, its Ramon here. 25 blog posts and over 4000 pageviews, I am living the dream and thanks to all you guys, for inspiring me and motivating me, everyday. For asking me, "Hey, haven't you updated yet", and for saying, "Hey, I read it". And the best part of all, how much I learnt through this blog. Every post has been a lesson. Every story has taught me, somethings only stories can teach you. And I have loved it all. The night I stay up to tell a story, the evenings where I cook up my stories, the noons where I come across my tales, and the mornings where I decide, "Today I will say a story". It was heaven, it was a dream come true, it was an ambition realised! Thank you all for being with me. And I promise, Writer's World will be back with so much more! But for now, let me bid farewell. So much more to says, sorry's and thank you's. But let me wrap it up. Good Night!
Love
Ramon Dharma Rajan
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