The MCP returns - your very dear Macho Charismatic Playboy is back! Yeah, yeah I know.... you have read my story before and you very well know this is not what MCP means; the beans was spilled by my dear wife and all this hungama is just going to make you laugh even harder. So no more of all that non-sense, I am going to be plain and simple, and this time around I am going to do justice to my story. New year might be all about resolutions and promises for most of you out there, but I am going to celebrate it with confessions. Let me tell you the story of how this bratty hooligan of a guy, the pompous, haughty, annoying Bloody Blundaleomite, who didn't have the last trace of self-respect within him, came to his senses. How this sexist "creature" transformed into the model husband - a description that Priya, my wife, will vouch for. Read and Enjoy.
I had the epiphany during my last year at college. Things weren't going so well for me, Blanket girl and pizza girl had messed it up Big Time and now I had become the official "Gay dude" of the college. Let me make the extent of the gossip more clear to you - my friends stopped talking to me, girls pass crude comments at me and I used to receive love letters on a daily basis... none of them seemed to have a girl's hand-writing. The declaration was official and life had become hell. The funny part of the story is that I realize the intensity of all this, the magnitude of the tragedy of the situation, only now. 9 years after college and 4 years into marital life, only now have I understood what a fool I had made out of myself during those days. I was obviously too full of myself and oblivious to everything going on around me... until....
Until that unforgettable... wait, what is a better word for unforgettable? It was not just unforgettable, it was... wait, let me just Google it up, a better word for unforgettable... Indelible! Fair enough. I didn't have the aforementioned epiphany until that indelible day. The week after S7 exams - Tiruchendur Temple Visit.
Such a beautiful place to be when the day is young. The sun bobs on the surface of the Bay of Bengal and slowly floats up towards the sky turning the heaven above into the magnificent blue that you can never stop looking at. The clouds decorating your roof with impeccable designs, something no sculpture ever dared to re-create, one of those sights which makes you truly believe in God. Not just the sky, everything in and around the temple makes one believe in God. This little incident did a remarkable job at that.
We had finished circumnavigating the temple, 3 friends and me, collecting blessings from every deity in the stone carved wonder and every priest with vibhoothi in his hand. Well, I guess Vibhoothi is the most tangible form of the blessings you receive from the lord. And we did make sure the blessings were genuine, no piracy in all these matters you see - we dropped a coin anywhere and everywhere possible! And as I was saying, we prayed inside and came out to wet our feet in the beach that adjoins the temple (which was not a very smart strategy because now our feet were wet and the mud was sticky and our floaters became dirty. Thank god my feet didn't itch after that!)
Yes, and we are right outside the temple, wearing our dirty floaters and wondering whom to ask where Mani Iyer's hotel is? (Apparently the hotel is the reason some people visit the place, than the temple) The four of us, staring aimlessly in four different directions (we were utterly jobless after exams right?) made an easy prey for the con.... no accusation here, she may have been genuine, she may have been a trickster, let your faith save you, I am going to call her what she calls herself - A Fortune Teller.
"Show me your hand child. Let me tell you your future." Now if you have been in Chennai, you will have most certainly acquired a much needed skill - How to ignore. Woman lying on the street with a naked child, man with no fingers, boy with scars all over, no matter what it is, all of them reaching out for you... yeah, sometimes it tears your heart apart, but eventually you learn to focus on the more important things in life - "Did Hansika break-up with Simbu?", "What does Modi think about Obama's healthcare policy?", and all that. And obviously my friends turned their head away, no amount of pleas or "Such a bright face you have child, you are one of a kind. Let me see your hand and tell you more", could dissuade them. Now, don't judge me, I have no idea what went through me, I showed her my hands. And she could see it in my face, a dash of insecurity (back then and even now let me tell you, I have no idea whether it was actual insecurity or curiosity masked as insecurity or the sun was just too bright... whatever)
"You are tense my boy? Very tense. So much sorrow, so much pain and anguish in your heart. Yes, lots of pain in the heart. Your heart is in pain. Very dear pain!" And everything that happened during the past couple of years flashed before my eyes. Memories raced through my head, of trying to harass girls, of the contempt I had for them, and how they had struck back. Scenes of all the agony and pain that had been inflicted upon me at college, at the insensitivity of my classmates, of the remarks and comments passed at me, of how I had been reduced into insignificance... heyy, don't roll your eyes at me, the fortune teller was really convincing... "Take this little twig and rub it all over your body", and she handed me a little twig which she pulled out of her bag (which made a very convincing prop for a fortune teller), and I obeyed her. No, no, no, I was not under her spell or anything, she had pissed me off already.... I just wanted be very courteous to the person who was trying to make a baffoon out of me. "Not, like that, rub it very well. All over your body. Your legs too... yes, like that! Now spit on it and throw it away." I got rid of it.
"How much would that be?"
"500" BLOODY BLUNDALEOMITE! 500 Rs. for palmistry? She seemed to read my mind and quickly responded, "100 for the palmistry and 400 for the twig." Another funny twist. I didn't have any money on me. LOL at the look on my friend's face who had to pay on my behalf. At that moment I realised that the pain in my heart would very soon spread throughout my body. My friend was a strong guy.
That is the story of how a fortune teller looted my off 500 Rs. and my honour. But on a more serious note, her voice did do something to me. The scenes that flashed before my eyes, the memories I had recollected at that moment; they touched me deeply. Those memories grew into thoughts - thoughts of what I had put others through, of what I had done in school, in college, of all the girls that have been around me, and the irony of how eventually a woman came around to make me spit at myself (you see, I was holding the twig in my hand, and I had to spit at the twig, so...) Little things can change the world. It's a laughable story, a hysterical one, but it did change my world. Two years later I went to the same temple, met the same woman. I had grown up, my face was more confident, energetic and wore a rather decent smile, with no traces of guilt in or around me. "You will get the woman of your dreams my child!" She said and charged me 50 Rs. And let me tell you, that came true.
Wish you all a Happy New Year!
Love
P.S. Here's the link to the prequel for this story - The MCP's Love Affairs http://positiveram.blogspot.in/2013/03/the-mcps-love-affair.html
Read and Enjoy
I had the epiphany during my last year at college. Things weren't going so well for me, Blanket girl and pizza girl had messed it up Big Time and now I had become the official "Gay dude" of the college. Let me make the extent of the gossip more clear to you - my friends stopped talking to me, girls pass crude comments at me and I used to receive love letters on a daily basis... none of them seemed to have a girl's hand-writing. The declaration was official and life had become hell. The funny part of the story is that I realize the intensity of all this, the magnitude of the tragedy of the situation, only now. 9 years after college and 4 years into marital life, only now have I understood what a fool I had made out of myself during those days. I was obviously too full of myself and oblivious to everything going on around me... until....
Until that unforgettable... wait, what is a better word for unforgettable? It was not just unforgettable, it was... wait, let me just Google it up, a better word for unforgettable... Indelible! Fair enough. I didn't have the aforementioned epiphany until that indelible day. The week after S7 exams - Tiruchendur Temple Visit.
Such a beautiful place to be when the day is young. The sun bobs on the surface of the Bay of Bengal and slowly floats up towards the sky turning the heaven above into the magnificent blue that you can never stop looking at. The clouds decorating your roof with impeccable designs, something no sculpture ever dared to re-create, one of those sights which makes you truly believe in God. Not just the sky, everything in and around the temple makes one believe in God. This little incident did a remarkable job at that.
We had finished circumnavigating the temple, 3 friends and me, collecting blessings from every deity in the stone carved wonder and every priest with vibhoothi in his hand. Well, I guess Vibhoothi is the most tangible form of the blessings you receive from the lord. And we did make sure the blessings were genuine, no piracy in all these matters you see - we dropped a coin anywhere and everywhere possible! And as I was saying, we prayed inside and came out to wet our feet in the beach that adjoins the temple (which was not a very smart strategy because now our feet were wet and the mud was sticky and our floaters became dirty. Thank god my feet didn't itch after that!)
Yes, and we are right outside the temple, wearing our dirty floaters and wondering whom to ask where Mani Iyer's hotel is? (Apparently the hotel is the reason some people visit the place, than the temple) The four of us, staring aimlessly in four different directions (we were utterly jobless after exams right?) made an easy prey for the con.... no accusation here, she may have been genuine, she may have been a trickster, let your faith save you, I am going to call her what she calls herself - A Fortune Teller.
"Show me your hand child. Let me tell you your future." Now if you have been in Chennai, you will have most certainly acquired a much needed skill - How to ignore. Woman lying on the street with a naked child, man with no fingers, boy with scars all over, no matter what it is, all of them reaching out for you... yeah, sometimes it tears your heart apart, but eventually you learn to focus on the more important things in life - "Did Hansika break-up with Simbu?", "What does Modi think about Obama's healthcare policy?", and all that. And obviously my friends turned their head away, no amount of pleas or "Such a bright face you have child, you are one of a kind. Let me see your hand and tell you more", could dissuade them. Now, don't judge me, I have no idea what went through me, I showed her my hands. And she could see it in my face, a dash of insecurity (back then and even now let me tell you, I have no idea whether it was actual insecurity or curiosity masked as insecurity or the sun was just too bright... whatever)
"You are tense my boy? Very tense. So much sorrow, so much pain and anguish in your heart. Yes, lots of pain in the heart. Your heart is in pain. Very dear pain!" And everything that happened during the past couple of years flashed before my eyes. Memories raced through my head, of trying to harass girls, of the contempt I had for them, and how they had struck back. Scenes of all the agony and pain that had been inflicted upon me at college, at the insensitivity of my classmates, of the remarks and comments passed at me, of how I had been reduced into insignificance... heyy, don't roll your eyes at me, the fortune teller was really convincing... "Take this little twig and rub it all over your body", and she handed me a little twig which she pulled out of her bag (which made a very convincing prop for a fortune teller), and I obeyed her. No, no, no, I was not under her spell or anything, she had pissed me off already.... I just wanted be very courteous to the person who was trying to make a baffoon out of me. "Not, like that, rub it very well. All over your body. Your legs too... yes, like that! Now spit on it and throw it away." I got rid of it.
"How much would that be?"
"500" BLOODY BLUNDALEOMITE! 500 Rs. for palmistry? She seemed to read my mind and quickly responded, "100 for the palmistry and 400 for the twig." Another funny twist. I didn't have any money on me. LOL at the look on my friend's face who had to pay on my behalf. At that moment I realised that the pain in my heart would very soon spread throughout my body. My friend was a strong guy.
That is the story of how a fortune teller looted my off 500 Rs. and my honour. But on a more serious note, her voice did do something to me. The scenes that flashed before my eyes, the memories I had recollected at that moment; they touched me deeply. Those memories grew into thoughts - thoughts of what I had put others through, of what I had done in school, in college, of all the girls that have been around me, and the irony of how eventually a woman came around to make me spit at myself (you see, I was holding the twig in my hand, and I had to spit at the twig, so...) Little things can change the world. It's a laughable story, a hysterical one, but it did change my world. Two years later I went to the same temple, met the same woman. I had grown up, my face was more confident, energetic and wore a rather decent smile, with no traces of guilt in or around me. "You will get the woman of your dreams my child!" She said and charged me 50 Rs. And let me tell you, that came true.
Wish you all a Happy New Year!
Love
P.S. Here's the link to the prequel for this story - The MCP's Love Affairs http://positiveram.blogspot.in/2013/03/the-mcps-love-affair.html
Read and Enjoy
Am loving ur narration more and more :-)
ReplyDeleteHad to google many words to find the meaning :D :P
ReplyDeleteI searched the meaning of BLUNDALEOMITE in google.. and guess what i got... 5 links thank directs to this blog... So what is BLUNDALEOMITE ?? :P
ReplyDeleteTHanks a lot dude.... Blundaleomite is not a real word btw..... it is something i use as a decent substitute for swearing.... :P
Delete