Lessons put to the Test

Never follow a girl - that is the lesson I learnt today. And how I learnt that lesson, that is a story worth telling.

It all started when my roommate and I decided to have lunch. Yes, in your bachelor life that is a major decision to take, a choice you must make as many a times the amount of energy spent in going out in the hot sun, walking all the way to the place wherever you get hygenic food and coming back consumes more calories than what you get from the lunch you eat. However, having regard to my dearest Mom's insistence, and keeping in mind the scoldings of my other relatives (I am talking about you Akkaji, from Anna Nagar, Chennai) I decided to go to Hotel Kumarakom, Nungambakkam. And I was right on time, for the training I received at GMCS is unforgettable. Never, never ever again in my life and the next seven lives that I will live, will I want to propose a guy.

You don't know that story? Well, it was also a magic done by our dear trainers at GMCS, walk into the class late and you will greeted with an applause. And as the days passed, they casted a more powerful spell - any person who walked into the class after Miss Punctuality - the most punctual girl of our class (Peak of Sarcasm intended), had to go up front and accept any Punishment that the class gives you. Mr. Muscleman had to milk a cow. And when he was late again, he had to propose to me. And yeah, I was late too, so I had to propose to him too. Chicken girl had to describe her dream boy (apparently she wants a chef whose name starts with 'J' and earns... how much was it, 2 Lakhs per month? Good Luck with that. And yeah, interested candidates can apply) and Mr Appukuttan had to perform an item song along with Titanic Boy (Refer the photo on Facebook taken at Poovar Resort. Yeah, the short one) and with our great Tour guy. Well, that was a really Gay performance, hats off guys. And on another occasion Mr. Appukuttan had to describe his Dream Girl (that's pretty easy actually. He has set the bar really low). And Miss Beautiful Smile had to sing for any five guys from the class (By the way, LOVE the song you sang to me :D) 

So you may conclude that anyone who attended that class will never ever be late for anything in their lives. Or their next seven lives, that is if you live again. Life after death is a topic of contention and one of our beloved friends gave a well informed presentation on that topic - 7 forms of heaven and 7 forms of hell and all that. The editor might recall having wanted to go to the 7th form of hell as she was expecting her friends over there (Good Luck sis). And there was of course the the really fun presentation by Chalusha on Paranormal activity. Man, did I have fun sneaking on my teammates and scaring the guts out of them while Chalusha was describing some ghosts spotted at Technopark. I have to give it to you sis, you did create the effects.

So, coming back to my story, I reached the restaurant on time, it was not my fault. Well, what happened was, the Manager at the hotel informed us that we would have to wait for around 15 minutes to I decided to go some place else to get a drink in the mean time (those of you who know Chennai might very well know what happens to your body when you are outside for 5 minutes. Serious Dehydration). I repeat, I was not late, the Manager was early! We got a seat right away, but we had gone to get our juice (and to those vile minds who thought drinks meant liquor... :P), so we missed our chance. We had to come back to the restaurant and wait another 10 minutes. And those 10 minutes changed my life. Well, that is just way too melodramatic. It changed my day.

All of you must definitely recall The Buji Love Story! Those of you not familiar with it, it was a powerpoint presentation I did, narrating a story about a nerd falling in love with a nerd. Now I am not saying that I am a nerd, I am not saying I am not a nerd, but just like I said in the story, a smoking hot chick sat right across me, waiting for lunch. Why me? And ofcourse (I have no idea who said I am not interested in girls in our class on motivation. You have no idea how WRONG you were), I sat there staring at the girl (just as I said in the story). And that's when I decided the revise on the lecture notes I had taken on one of the presentations at GMCS. I bet everybody had taken notes on that presentation. The one by Miss Beautiful Smile on What girls look for in guys! And there, at that moment, wearing an orange t-shirt and black shorts, with bulging incisors and an idiotic pair of glasses, I had an epiphany - I suck!

What a tragic thing to say!? I suck? After having heard all those wonderful advices, from my amazing friends, how could my confidence level go down. You remember all the advices we got right. The best has to be from Dracula boy, I mean the way he fought his introverted character was something I could connect a look up to. That story really helped me, not to become an extrovert, but to become an outgoing introvert, someone who speaks confidently and speaks to anyone. And the way he brought down his weight, truly inspirational. On the other hand we have the wonderful advice by the 2 marks girl, who cried her eyes out for the 2 marks she lost in her 12th standard exam. That was classic. WOW! And Appukuttan had an emotional story to share with us. And the one by our Kalakaran was truly heart touching. You have come a long way buddy. Mission Impossible girl though had a tough timing walking up to the stage, but I guess she ended up to be the one who spoke the most! No, that was in her speech about A.R.Rahman that she went on speaking, with the crowd and to the crowd. Not to forget ofcourse, the advice that Mr. Pucham shared with us. Never will I make fun of a guy who just had a break-up.

And recalling all those things my friends shared with me, I decided to ahead and stare at the girl. And me, being a little less professional at staring at girls, was caught. I saw her looking back at me and the expression on her face was a little less than friendly. Reminds you of the one of those situations where you wish nobody saw you.

One of those situations was our group performance. An awesome competition, where every team had to come forward, pick a lot and based on the topic given, you had to perform then and there. Our topic was "Your choice" and although it was deemed to be the easiest topic, it turned out to be the hardest as we had no idea as to what to do. And we ended doing the things we were worst at, as in, I danced! Well, you get a picture of how bad things went. However some of the other teams brought fire to the stage.

The team lead by Chicken girl for instance gave us a treat to watch. Renjini Haridas, Sheela and Jayan were simply cracking, and Suresh Gopi was out of the world. Proverb team also gave us a beautiful circus, a tough topic executed in style. Although the way Appukuttan ran with Carnatic Song guy was again, Gay. Music with Body Muscles, brilliantly executed! And the Cat Walk was truly sexy!

And that is teamwork, coming up with a performance right away, no matter what the circumstance. Long hair Sir rightly said it, its about how your team gells in. That creates magic, and it did in my story too, where my roommate did his best to help me get the girl. His advice was gold. "The first step", he told me, "is to be patient".

"So I fall sick?", a chaluvan would ask, but I didn't, for I knew that patience is the best virtue. The game on Fishing, 'Moving the ball through the path with a hockey stick' and Bowling taught me that. You had be patient and tactful. Patient as in, not to get frustrated when things don't go your way. That happened with the game of moving the ball with the hockey stick. Impatience meant defeat. Chalusha did a smooth job over there and so did our dear Miss GMCS. Also how Miss GMCS threw the ball during bowling was commendable as she was the only one in her team who cared to throw slowly. And remember the way the Tour Guide guy dived in through the tables to get the ball during bowling - Magnificent. Also, did you guys notice how our singer boy (aka AC boy) was carefully looking at how the other teams were fishing and tactfully planned their game. Fishing was probably the epitome of patience. You had to wait, either till the fish caught the hook, or till you got the right strategy.

We decided on our strategy to woo the girl. "Wait patiently, and when the opportune moment comes, you talk to her. Talk to her, without a pause, without a jerk and without any grammar mistakes most importantly. Can you do that?"

Yes I can. I have done that for JAM. But even more fun was GD and Story telling. Our story telling team wen to the toilet like 20 times and woke up from the dream 8 times. We created Inception part 8. The other blogger did a creative job with the switch in the head and invisibility. Singer boy was somehow interested in spying on his Naked Boyfriend! Group discussion too had flair. Everybody learnt and improved when they were done with their round, certain of that I am.

I stood up to go and talk to her, just when the waiter informed me that I had to leave the restaurant as there was a long queue waiting for a seat. And I was happy to chicken out, as in, I ran out of there, out of fear. "Dude, go talk to her", he adviced me again. "What is she slaps me across the face?" I asked. "Then we run like crazy!

Running I can do. I ran with my friend carrying a girl on a chair. So if my crush doesn't talk to me, I can very well grab her chair and run away. But that ofcourse would be a pain on my back for a week. I very well remember how the Kalakaran and I ran, carrying the editor, how the editor picked up the wrong sheet of paper and we had to run twice as much! That competition also created history, where in one of the teams, a girl picked a guy and ran. Hats off Miss GMCS. Hang on tight Sania. Keep up to your Captain Disaster Management guy. Woah, that was a rush!

Having given up on the girl, we decided to forget her and walk to the nearest mall. Now either I am extremely hot, or God is playing some cruel joke with me, but the beautiful girl I was staring at walked right into the mall. And we decided to follow her aka stalk her. Just like how we ran in the balloon running contest. The distance had to be right. The runners are too close and the balloon bursts, as in, bursts on your face in this context. The distance increases and the balloon drops. Chalusha did that like a piece of cake! And not to mention, focus. You had to keep your eyes only on the target. Nothing should distract you. That was one contest we could have won, had Miss GMCS not challenged me. But no complaints, I was, and still am proud of accepting that challenge - walking blind eyes through the maze. Appukuttan, I have no idea how you did what you did. Kudos man!

And finally we come to the amazing climax of my story. We stalk her all through the mall, And I will be surprised if she didn't notice. And when the girl walks out, we again follow her. We follow her all the way to the junction where she catches an Auto Rickshaw and dashes away on one side, while on the other, our bus -29B, the one that passes by only once in a couple of hours, just went along. Missing the bus meant waiting for another 2 hours, so we chased it (me half heartedly, I wanted to chase the Auto), and me missed the bus. And finally we ended up walking from Nungambakkam to T.Nagar! Thus, I say this once again, never follow a girl!

Love